Nearly two years after Johnny Gaudreau and Matthew were killed while biking in their New Jersey hometown, Meredith Gaudreau says the night still replays in her head. She said it remains hard to believe that so much time has passed since Aug. 29, 2024, when the two were struck and killed by an alleged drunk driver.
Meredith spoke about the loss while reflecting on life with the three children she is raising after the deaths. Her oldest, Noa, is 3. Johnny is 2. Carter, the youngest, was born in April 2025 after Meredith was about seven weeks pregnant when her husband and his brother died.
What keeps pulling her back to that night is not a single image so much as the fact that it never really leaves. Meredith said it is something she finds herself zoning out and thinking about without warning, then comes back to the same place: that night. She said it haunts her. The words land plainly because they come from someone still living inside the aftermath, not looking back at a finished chapter.
The grief has also been shaped by the work of getting through each day. Meredith said her parents, five siblings, Johnny's family and extended family stepped in after the tragedy, and that her dad has pretty much retired to help her. She said her siblings fully stepped in and helped with the children, while her first priority during the pregnancy was making sure the kids were okay and the baby was doing fine.
That support has mattered because the family life she is describing is demanding in the most ordinary way. Meredith said it can be chaos with three kids under three years old, and she has learned to slow down, be more present and not take anything for granted. She said it is hard to get out the door, but the moments she values most are the ones at home alone with Noa, Johnny and Carter, where she can sit still long enough to think about what John would have wanted for them.
That is the shape of the story now: not only loss, but adaptation. Meredith said the pain has not really shifted much, and nearly two years on, the unanswered part is not what happened on the road in New Jersey. It is how a family keeps rebuilding around a night that still feels, to her, as if it happened yesterday.
